Your parents or friends that have all been pregnant beforehand don't tell you the fun part of being pregnant. Let me share some of that with you right now.
FAT
You will feel fat for at least the first trimester. Books and doctors delicately put this experience as "midsection thickening" - hah, um, no matter what word you call it, fat is fat. Even if it's "baby related fat" it still feels... Fat. Technically, what's going on is that your uterus is growing and pushing your bowels around and it will make you bloat.
Speaking of bloating...
CONSTIPATION
You will be constipated. This isn't a "you might have it.." It's a badge of pregnancy. It WILL happen. No matter how many salads you eat, no matter how much fiber you consume. IT HAPPENS. And it's horrible. Along with that, you get the most fragrant farts you'll ever smell leave your derriere. They make me laugh like a grade-schooler all over again.
TIRED
Your first trimester will be full of feeling like you're never getting enough sleep. If you are one of the fortunate ones where you feel like your ass is not kicked by exhaustion, you are probably one of the UNLUCKY ones that gets slapped with morning sickness that does not end.
MORNING SICKNESS
Well, I mentioned it, didn't I? Fortunately for me, I did not have this so bad. Sure I felt queezy all day and for a few weeks I literally had to munch on food throughout the day to make my tummy feel better, but I did NOT have it bad at all. Some people are throwing up all day and night. I think I only threw up once. Whee :)
PANTY TROUBLE
You will leak. I can't describe it beyond that. It's like... Discharge, but, wetter and not as sticky. It's freaky cause it sort of feels like you're about to get your period (ladies, you know what I mean) but it's just you, leaking like a pro. I was of the naive type and thought for sure now that I am pregnant I would never have to touch a feminine care product for 9 months! WRONG! Guess who's going to the store to buy panty liners...
MOOD SWINGS
Ok, this one's a given. I think everyone who knows someone who's pregnant knows this is true. I won't elaborate.
CRAVINGS FOR FOOD YOU CAN'T EAT
You're pregnant, congrats! Say goodbye to sushi, cold deli meats, coffee, most teas, most sodas, tuna, most fish, hotdogs. I would KILL for a cold turkey sandwich with romaine lettuce, mayo, tomatoes on a nice crusty roll....
CRAVINGS (and aversions)
I have not wanted baked chicken breast since getting pregnant. Nor have I wanted a cup of coffee. ME - I used to LIVE off of chicken and coffee. I also don't want french fries (bleeeh) or excessively greasy foods.
Things I have been wanting: Pizza, bagels, eggs, salads, twizzlers, gummy worms, anything salty. I have also been loving pickles and banana peppers. I wish I had a jar of each right now.
You will also drink lots and lots of water.
Oh and say goodbye to crystal light and any diet sodas. No more artificial sweeteners for you!
HEADACHES
You will get headaches. Hormonal, stress, regular, they come in all varieties. And guess what - you only get to take Tylenol. Don't know about you, but I was taking Immitrex for my migraines BB (before baby) - fortunately I haven't had a bad spell *knocks on wood!* but some days is questionable where I just want the world to stop and be quiet.
INSANE HAIR AND NAIL GROWTH
Your hair, including your facial hair, and nails will grow like crazy, especially when the baby turns from a zygote to an actual fetus. Your nails will be strong and grow fast, which for me is a plus. But I could do without tweezing my brow daily and pulling out phantom chin hair! Your leg hair will grow like a weed, too.
RANDOM PAINS
I am one of the fortunate ones that is experiencing what is known as "round ligament pain". I cannot express what this feels like, exactly, other than my uterus feeling like it's been stretched too far too quickly (sort of a stabby burning sensation). It mostly occurs over my hip bones/pelvis area and only when I either sit too long, stand up to fast, roll over, lean forward... Basically move at all XD It lasts just a few moments but it's there to remind me there's something going on down there.
MONTH LONG PERIOD
This one will probably come up again later, as I get closer to delivering. But I have just recently learned, after getting pregnant, that you will have a month long period once the baby comes. And that you CANNOT use tampons (I guess that makes sense, seeing as, well, a watermelon just came out your hoohah!). Guess the panty liners are a good practice run for wearing maxi pads for a month straight...
Anyway, all of this wasn't intended to be dour or complaining. It was meant to be comical, jovial, and give a message of "why didn't someone tell me this?!" - well, guess what, I'm that friend that will tell you allllll about it ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment