Love

I owe you guys more posts to bring you up to date, but I must gush tonight. I love my son, I have always loved him with a love only a mother knows. But when I was going through my postpartum depression spell (still going through it, but, it's getting better - this topic will be covered in another post) I loved him but I really wasn't in love with him. Now though, as he gets bigger and his personality comes out a little more each day, I can honestly say I am very much so in love with him. His twinkling eyes, his huge grins, his little squeaks and squeals. Even the way he falls asleep against my chest or in my arms with his mouth wide open... He might not look a thing like me (at least, I can't see it) but he's mine and I am in love. I love to kiss his cheeks, his hands, his feet, his tummy. I love when his little fingers clasp around one of mine when we're sitting together or when I'm feeding him. I love watching him get bigger, how he holds his head up now, how he bats at his toys haphazardly... It's tiring, being his primary caretaker all day and night. And I would love to be able to get some things done around the house while I'm home, or do some of my hobbies again like sew, draw, or do things on the pc without being interrupted constantly. But he's only going to be small once and I can do these things later, when he's older and playing by himself or with friends. I'm trying to soak it all in, as Little E just might be an only child. We'll see on that part, though.

In any case, yes, my son is amazing and I love him very much :)